360 Months; 1560 Weeks; 10,950 Days….

However you say it, it all adds up to one thing: I turned thirty on May 16. I know many who dreaded joining the 30’s crowd. I was never that person. It seems like most of my life has been spent wishing I was older so the dreaded 30 was never agony for me. After all, thirty meant I joined the 30-39 group in polls that ask for age! I’m no longer associated with twenty. Quite frankly, I don’t think I was ever associated with twenty…even when I was twenty.

So in the month leading up to thirty, I was mostly excited to spend a long weekend with my friends in the mountains. Little did I know I would be celebrating thirty so many times that I figured people feared this would be my last birthday to celebrate!

It all started when my cousin Eva asked me to go shopping in Pittsburgh. We decided to go on April 27. I left work early to have enough time to shower and get dressed before we left for Pittsburgh. When she arrived, we had to go pick my Aunt Peachie up at her house because she was also going with us.

I should have known immediately that something was awry. We went down the wrong street to go around the house. We pulled into my Aunt Peachie’s normal parking spot. My Uncle Bobby’s vehicle was there, but so was my dad’s. Dad had been doing some work so I figured no big deal, Uncle Bobby is looking at the progress. When we walked into the house, everyone started singing Happy Birthday. I must have jumped two feet off the floor; it scared the hell out of me! As I am trying to focus on faces to see who was there, I see Dennis, my best friend’s husband. But it never occurred to me my best friend was there too because I was trying to put names to faces in my head. Then it hit me: Helen and Dennis had made the two hour drive from Pa to come down too! Everyone was there and I felt really loved.

Here’s a few pics of that day. Mind you, no one had pictures of the water battles! I was soaked from head to toe from water balloons, squirt guns, and cups full of water! Great time!











The second celebration took place on the Monday before my birthday. I have been going to the mountains for my birthday for a few years so I am never at home for my birthday. This year, though, I wanted to do something with my family before I left (I didn’t know about the surprise birthday). So for more than a month, I had planned for all of us to get together to go bowling. We all like bowling and it’s something fun for the kids and the adults. So that’s what we did. Unfortunately, not many pics were taken! Here are the pics I have:

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Surprise! Aunt Peachie’s butt!

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And then the mountains. This is the third year I have gone to the mountains for my birthday. I can’t even explain what going to the mountains on my birthday means to me. I am surrounded by my two best friends in the world and their families. Starting in January, I begin the countdown to the mountains. It’s like a breath of fresh life for me. I anticipate the arrival and I dread when we have to leave. This year, I met Helen and her kids on Wednesday. Somer and her family came down on Thursday. And Dennis came down on Friday. Mind you, I have the shortest drive-time at an hour and a half. Helen and Dennis drive three hours and Somer and Jessie drive like five! Have I mentioned that I have the absolute best friends ever?

This year was the best year, if that’s even possible. Helen and I went site seeing in Thomas, WV on Thursday afternoon. When Somer arrived later that day, her first words were, “My goal is to make you go into liver failure this weekend.” She almost succeeded. I very seldom drink heavily. I don’t drink a lot to begin with, but I have an occasional glass of wine or “swig” of Crown. If I drink heavily, Somer is ALWAYS right beside me. We see each other four to five times a year so that’ll tell you how often I drink to drink. We started out with Jell-O shots and never looked back. I never blacked out, but I have trouble remembering every single conversation. And that’s the problem because Somer remembers EVERY SINGLE DETAIL. She’s been my friend since we were eleven years old and she does not forget anything! Helen and I could forget our names, but Somer remembers every single detail of my life….it’s scary, really.

So we drank Thursday night. Friday we went site seeing in Davis, WV. When Dennis arrived, we started drinking again. Again, it started with Jell-O shots. I remember being drunk and taking a walk to the nearest Wifi connection, hoping and praying I didn’t fall into the pond by the cabins because I’d never make it out alive. When I finally had wifi, I downloaded songs from our high school days: Bloodhound Gang, Insane Clown Posse, Eminem, and the Presidents of the United States of America. The husbands stayed inside (we may have been annoying) as we sang…loudly…vulgar song lyrics until midnight. I may listen to the 50’s and 60’s now, but there was a time when my musical tastes were influenced by Somer and Helen and don’t be surprised if you ever hear me, out of the blue, bust out singing, “I need to find a new vagina” or “You born in a barn? Shut the f***in’ door!”

Saturday we went to Black Water Falls, Lindy Point, and Seneca Rocks. We played outside with the kids. But, again, when bedtime came around, we started drinking. Saturday I may have had too much to drink. Or maybe drinking while sitting (and singing) in a hot tub is not wise. I know, FOR SURE, never put me near a telescope when I’m drunk. I can barely see the moon with the naked eye…but I’ll never see it through a telescope (I just move too much and bump the telescope…although I blame that on Somer). I had drank too much before Somer said, “It’s time for the lemon drop shots now!” I remember thinking, “Oh, God. Tonight I’m puking.” Somer had said we would do three shots. I literally choked down the second one and she said, “OK…no more for you.” I drank water after that. The men went to bed while the girls stayed outside. We didn’t go to sleep until two (like three hours after I stopped drinking), and I still ended up waking up and hugging the toilet.

I woke up Sunday with a hangover. I tried coffee….no. Food was a definite NO. Helen then pulled out the evidence of our drunken night. She had recorded EIGHT minutes of us on the porch the night before. I have never been more drunk in my life…including the time I was in Las Vegas and drank from the time I woke up until the time I went to sleep. Had I had that third shot, Somer would have succeeded in causing me to go into liver failure.

Needless to say, Sunday was a rush of everyone packing up and heading home. I hate Sundays at the cabin because I never want to leave. Even with the toilet hugging, I have never had a better full weekend in all of my life. Somer and Helen will, of course, remind me of all the drunk things I said until the day I die…but it was all worth it. Here are pics:

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And then there was alcohol…

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The dreaded last shots…

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Lemon drops do this to me. I’m sorry.

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I was trying to find the moon. Don’t judge me!

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Jessie calls this my “scary, mean lesbian look.” I have no idea what I was doing here.

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And the final picture is of me and my best friends, Helen and Somer, at Black Water Falls. I can’t tell you how much these girls mean to me. You’re lucky if you have one friend for life. I’m more than blessed because I have two lifelong friends.

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Published in: on June 4, 2013 at 6:21 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. you are awesome! can’t wait till next year!! I love the scary, mean lesbian look picture, it makes me laugh every time.

    • I can’t wait until next year too! I’ll give my liver another test run, lol! And that pic makes me laugh too! I just can’t remember what caused that face, LOL!

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